1. |
The Lake (part 1)
01:44
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I know
I should give it time
but it’s heavy
I’ll be honest
I’m so desperate
For some answers
It’s my right to be
too burned out to care
I thought I had a little more space & time
But when the clock runs out
we can’t be asking these questions anymore
I ran to the lake; she was delaying the end
We’ve all been through so much so I can’t even imagine
What it must feel like
And I know
I should give it time
but it’s heavy
I’ll be honest
I’m so desperate
For some answers
It’s my right to be
too burned out to care
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2. |
The Lake (part 2)
03:33
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I see you behind every locked door
I’m shaking I can’t find my keys
The shadows are tinted purple and blue
While the wind blows through your hair
It’s all that moves
And we may never see the night end
But I’ll be reaching for corners where the light bends
And it’s sinking in
I can’t go where you are
And my thinking on the subject has me lost
And I know
I should give it time
but it’s heavy
I’ll be honest
I’m so desperate
For some answers
It’s my right to be
too burned out to care
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3. |
Necessary
03:23
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I thought we had it together
The grind was putting a point
On the things
We were missing
I gotta say I was wishing
That we could stop it from ending
Those perfect nights on the lawn
With the smell of the fresh cut grass
Watching minutes pass while explosions
Punctuated
Your return
To the way things were
And I can tell you remember
When you and I couldn’t bear
To be more
Than a sentence out of sync
Now every contact is awkward
Each ping a painful reply
To bigger questions that no one asked
As the years roll past
Our illusions just keep proving
We can’t return
To the way things were
Are we better off if we stop letting our paths cross?
And if we cut ties, will the memories we had be able to survive?
We’re stuck in a moment
I can’t say I like it but it just might be necessary
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4. |
When I'm Afraid
03:57
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I woke up today
With my head banging
A drum I couldn’t seem to keep in time
I thought I’d escaped
The dread I feel
When nothing that I’ve made feels like it’s mine
Sometimes I’m amazed
At just how ridiculous I look
When I’m afraid
Take it in, here I am
It’s no secret how I ended up this way
Terrible form
When details wore
What’s left of all the confidence I had
I bounce around
The cap and gown
Were warnings of impending ego death
Sometimes I’m amazed
At just how ridiculous I look
When I’m afraid
Take it in, here I am
It’s no secret how I ended up this way
Will I ever see things the way you do
If the demons in my head will never leave?
Why can’t I just be imperfect now?
Believe that pushing forward won’t destroy
The reasons I have left to be me?
Sometimes I’m amazed
At just how ridiculous I look
When I’m afraid
Take it in, here I am
It’s no secret how I ended up this way
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5. |
Little Like You
04:36
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Those days when I laughed
At your expense
When your rage
Ripped a hole in the world
Just when I think
I’m the one making sense
And it’s you who’s gone off the deep end
Your favorite shoes
Sit unused at the door
Your tired hands
Never asking for more
When classified ads
And calls on dead lines
Are stinging reminders
That you’ve seen some hard times
And I’m a little like you
Bits and pieces of everyone I’ve met
And I’ve been a little bit rude
Think of all of the hurtful things I’ve said
When we grew up
We each had our own room
We expanded to fill
All the space in our tombs
The lock on the door
The salt in those wounds
Do they know we’re still in here?
I’d love to feel good
About speaking the truth
I’d love to get out
From under this roof
But just listening now
is the best I can do
Help me see what I’m missing…
What am I missing?
Because I’m a little like you
But I started this race with you behind me
So if I come off like I know
You don’t have to forgive me
I’ll just take what I get
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6. |
Good Riddance
03:57
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The embrace of a cold, damp, lonely fall
Casting shadows on these moldy walls
I can’t describe well… so I just bite my tongue
I found post-it notes with some shit I wrote
Before everyone left
Before the ghost town
And what I wrote down was
“Good riddance to another wasted year”
“All the signs say I should be better but it’s never how I feel”
It’s like my head’s in a vise on a swinging door
I still get up each morning and come back for more
Just to see your faces on that backlit screen
They say “stay inside, it’s getting bad tonight”
You tell your friends that they’ll be all right
But you won’t though…
Good riddance to another wasted year
All the signs say I should be better but it’s never how I feel
When so many things have gone right for me
I shouldn’t be complaining
But the light at the end has been getting dimmer
So I am just explaining
That I’m done with counting on things that used to be certain
And I’m done with measuring the parts of me that aren’t working
Good riddance to another wasted year
I swear the next one will be better… it’s already here
Good riddance
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7. |
What A Mess
04:46
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My arms are cast from concrete
While my chest continues rising and falling
I welcome darkness, pull the shades
To keep out all the evidence
I’m closer than I’ve ever been to dying
A weighted blanket wraps me up
As new light elbows through that darkened window
And I’ve been trying to tell you what a mess I am
As I’ve been trying to process it the best I can
While you proceed to give a demonstration
Of an acute but innocent frustration
While I contemplate the implications
Of running on empty for too long
The pulse of a life examined
Races faster than these old chambers can keep up
They spark and stutter; I used to be so happy to suffer
It seemed like bouncing off the redline
Would make me room to breathe easy eventually
But all this accumulated pain
Just levels me instead
That’s why I’ve been trying to tell you what a mess I am
As I’ve been trying to process it the best I can
While you proceed to give a demonstration
Of an acute but innocent frustration
While I contemplate the implications
Of running on empty for too long
I appreciate the value in taking it slow
(I promise I will)
This should be my mental health year
Let’s see how it goes
Because I’ve been trying to tell you what a mess I am
As I’ve been trying to process it the best I can
While you proceed to give a demonstration
Of an acute but innocent frustration
While I contemplate the implications
Of running on empty for too long
And I know I should give it time
(I’m trying to tell you what a mess I am)
But it’s heavy; I’ll be honest
I’m so desperate
(I’m trying to process it the best I can)
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Imposters In Rome Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
We write songs remotely, on Zoom, every week. Sometimes we record them.
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